It’s Monday again. For me this new week begins after a three-day weekend. This week moved by rapidly, not as rapidly as the previous week but rapidly nonetheless. For the most part it was uneventful. In many ways it was a “normal” week. typical with its many ups and downs. Normal for me means more ups than downs.
I spent Friday afternoon meeting with a representative of the Ramada Inn in Amherst. Alison is one of those representatives who really gets it. I enjoyed our conversation very much. Alison requested I put together a 20×30 collage print of Megan and Rob’s January 9, 2010 wedding as there were many photos which showcased much of this fine venue. Alison fell in love with the print and was excited to show my photography to couple’s looking for a wedding photographer. Alison really enjoyed my work as well as the conversations we have had and the conversation turned to her daughter who will be a senior next year. The meeting with Alison was the highlight of my week as the rest of the weekend was difficult to navigate and one I would love to forget.
The rest of this post was difficult for me to write. In writing it I’m taking a nod from a photographer who I respect very much; Jasmine Star. Jasmine who posted an entry to her blog on 1/10/2010 which really touched me. In the post she discussed her battle with depression. While I’m not battling depression I have a family member who is battling Bipolar Disorder. This battle, while difficult for the individual is in some ways equally if not more difficult for the remainder of the family. We see what the person’s illness does not allow them to see. Talk about frustrating. At times it’s like banging my head against the wall just to see if it still hurts. many times I have walked away from these encounters wondering if, in some strange way it really is my fault. That belief coupled with the intense roller coaster of emotions leaves you not only breathless but physically and emotionally exhausted. That feeling of exhaustion coupled with the lack of visible sunlight left me exhausted. On one hand it forced me to not do much of anything this weekend but on the other hand it forced me to not do much of anything this weekend. I had no energy and no desire. Things in que waiting to get accomplished were forgotten about until I shut off the computer. Then like a V-8 moment I remembered the importance and went back to get it done. What makes this illness additionally difficult for me is I remain working as a social worker. as a social worker. I work with patients all week long who attempt to manage this same illness. This is not to say that the task of managing those symptoms is an easy one. I know it is not. Just when I would love to “turn off my brain”, I am forced to keep it on. Overload is difficult to avoid. As I’ve said in previous posts, a few of the things which help me maintain a positive balance are photography, listening to music and reading. Unfortunately when there is little energy left, all three of those things become difficult.
Like Jasmine, I smile all the time on the outside. 95% of the time those smiles are real and the other 5% of the time they’re hard work. I tell myself smiling is better than not smiling. While this is true it still hurts to see a loved one suffer like this. I am legitimately happy the majority of the time but feel sad. Sad this person continues to struggle when there does not need to be a struggle
Valentine’s Day was a wash as Nancy and I continue to struggle with our daughter’s behaviors. There, I’ve said it. It is my daughter who suffers from this illness. Valentine’s Day was a wash. Neither Nancy nor myself felt like celebrating, anything. As we sat down for the evening to watch TV, it was only a brief period of time before we had both dozed off.
I’m looking forward to Monday. I’m looking forward to escaping the uncomfortable feelings associated with this mental illness and working with my patients. More so I’m looking forward to spending some time with some cool couples and some cool events.
The photograph below has dual meaning for me. I love lighthouses and their significance as a historical treasure as well as the beacon of hope for which they stand. There are times when I feel alone and my lighthouse is my photography. For that I am thankful. There are lighthouses all around us. We need to look for them and some of them don’t come in the typical “light house” representation. We need to be open minded to the options and the opportunities around us. It is these things which will lead us out of the dark. My hope is one day my daughter will see the light from her own lighthouse.
As always, thanks so much for reading and keep coming back.
Christopher
The forces of nature get together to produce interesting sculptures. Wind, water and freezing temperatures combine to form some of the nost beautiful sculptures on Earth. They cannot be duplicated and as they are made of organic compounds and continue to be exposed to the same forces which developed them, they will change daily. As they grow and change they remind us of the frailty of life. Soon these sculptures will be gone and remain only in our memory. It is my desire to capture these memories for all to see as I have seen them.
I love trees. They have two very distinct personalities; the one we see when in full bloom during the warm, inviting summer months and the one we see during the cold, dark months of winter. The trees have shed their leaves, their personality and stand dormant as once great features of our landscape waiting to bloom once again. We often take these same trees for granted and pass by them without notice. We cut them down arbitrarily when they are in our way and lament their absence when gone and unable to provide us with comforting shade.
Three trees stand a silent vigil on the Western shore of the Niagara River.
Mother Nature’s sculpture as crafted by the wind and water.
More ice sculpture. i can get lost for minutes trying to figure out the exact combination of elements which helped to form such interesting sculptures.
I watched the seagulls from my perch at a nearby picnic table. The wind had picked up and began to ruffle the bird’s feathers; their heads tucked into their breasts to avoid the cold, windy assault.
More ice sculpture.
Additional trees guarding the shoreline of the Niagara River standing silently against the cold breezes blowing across the water.
This is my favorite. As a child I remember listening to Neil Diamond’s “Jonathan Livingston Seagull” over and over. If memory serves me, I needed to replace at least one vinyl LP it was played so frequently. I saw this seagull effortlessly coasting on the wind and I was transported back to the 1970’s and the song “Be” from the Jonathan Livingston Seagull soundtrack. it was very peaceful sitting and watching the birds take flight on such a cold afternoon.
A picnic table absent of people who, when the weather is warmer would be enjoying a meal, a cup of coffee or just the company of another.
It’s not often I see pigeons by the river. This group took flight as I approached. They are beautiful and graceful in their flight.
Coach Eric Jantzi is flanked by Senators Robin Schimminger and George Maziarz. the pair read a proclamation from NYS Governor Patterson. The proclamation explained the members of the Lumberjack football team were invited to Albany and participate in a senatorial session during which time the lawmakers of NYS would recognize congratulate the team. How cool is that?!
This is a copy of the sign which will grace the major entrances to the City of North Tonawanda. Mayor Soos also proclaimed December 2, 2009 “North Tonawanda Lumberjack Football Day.” I know I’ve used this phrase once already, but “How cool is that?!”
The audience was moved indoors as the rain continued. If you can pick out my beautiful wife and/or Casey and Kyle Shreve’s grandmother (no family members allowed) I’ll give you 15% off any photo shoot package. 
The speakers for tonight’s event were numerous local dignitaries. Congratulations to Barb Zellner on her election to a seat in the Niagara County Legislature. Congratulations Barb! I’m sure you’ll do us proud! Barb is also the mother of Jeffrey Zellner who was an outstanding fullback for the Lumberjacks and graduated last year. Jeff now plays football at Utica College.
The cheerleaders kept the crowd involved.
Kujo, Kyle Shreve and Jimmy Rodgers. Kujo is sporting the pullover windbreaker all of the players received as a result of participating in the NYS Championship game on Sunday. This photo was taken in front of the “Wall of Fame” in the NTHS Student Center where I am quite sure a plaque will shortly be adorning the wall in honor of the 2009 Lumberjack Football team. The boys are overjoyed with their success. When I spoke with Kujo and Kyle after the victory celebration both boys agreed “it hadn’t really sunk in yet.” Both of these boys like the rest of the team have maintained a level head and they haven’t allowed the win to go to their head.
Kujo was the recipient of the Sportsmanship Award. Nice job Kujo!
Here’s the boys getting their individual awards.
The team gathered at center field one last time before the opening kickoff.
Kujo, Shreve and Tuzzo met the opposing team captains at centerfield for the coin toss. North Tonawanda won the toss and elected to kickoff.
The Lumberjacks gathered on the sideline before the opening kickoff. The excitement was about to begin!
I think the sign says it all. The Lumberjacks came, dominated and were victorious!
The chant of “NT”, “NT” could be heard throughout the Carrier Dome. North Tonawanda fans traveled to the tune of approximately five thousand to watch “their” team vie for the chance to be identified as “Class AA State Champions.”
This shot is just, well…interesting.
A unique configuration of flags hung at center field.
Kujo runs back toward his team from a brief meeting with the opposing team’s captain before the opening of the second half.
The Jacks did just that!
It is “How we roll!”
The final score said it all…
The NYS Class AA Champions! Congratulations boys! You deserved it. All of the hard work on and off the field has paid off. For those players returning next year, rmember the feeling and the hard work and bring it back again. Lumberjack Pride!
The game was a clean one. Few penalties and clean play. Great sportsmanship! Greater game!
Congratulations again boys!
Nancy had to clean off the rear window of the car and repaint it for the ride home. I was reminded several times to not use the rear window wiper if it began to rain.
There it is. There is no clearer message. Thanks to all of my readers who have endured the love I have for the boys who play on this team, their hard work and their 100% effort. I am most proud of you Stephen. The award your received for sportsmanship means more to me as a parent than any award. It means I have taught you well. Congratulations!
